July 18, 2007 by Barbara.

Warning: this post contains the word “breast” but only in conjunction with “milk” 

I know that all mothers are working mothers but the verbal gymnastics to rewrite the title are beyond me today. Have I mentioned that I have an almost 3 year old and I work full time? Sometimes my memory/creativity fails me. In any case, it’s been two years since my 51 weeks at home with Reid came to an end.

I’m so lucky that I live in Canada, where the combination of maternity and parental leave benefits allow for a parent to stay at home for a year. I’m especially grateful that my employer topped up my benefits so that our family didn’t suffer financially when I stayed home.

I wish that I could say that I’m also lucky that I live in a country with full and easy access to childcare. That would be a lie. I *am* lucky that we were able to find a good daycare spot for Reid but many others are not so fortunate. Dani over at Postcards from the Mothership is eloquent in her descriptions of the troubles that she has had finding good childcare. And she lives and works in the same city as me. Never mind what it’s like to be in a rural or remote area or in a small town.

The first months after I returned to work, I benefitted from a double-electric breast pump and a closed office and so was able to continue to provide Reid milk with “mama milk’ for daycare. I didn’t imagine when I went on mat leave that I would want to pump for a one year old. Shocking behaviour, that! But it did turn out to be important for our family and I’m glad I could do so. I can’t imagine having to return to work and leave a 6 week old. I’m not sure I’d really mastered nursing by then and that was okay. I’m positive that my hormones were still all over the place then. Even a year later, my heart was breaking to leave Reid.

I have to admit that I was ready to go back to work, though. Reid is much more social than I am and needed to mix with other kids. I needed to get back to discussions with other adults that didn’t involve sleeping habits or diapers. (I could never figure out how women who had previously had careers could talk only about baby matters at play groups. Thank goodness for Melissa and my work friends.)

My dream was - and remains - a four day week but that hasn’t happened yet. Within two months of returning to work, I was acting for my boss and working long hours. Ken would bring Reid to the office so that I could nurse her and eat supper with her. What a good father and husband he is. It was a good learning experience. I got work experience that will serve me well if I seek a promotion. I learned about myself, too; I don’t want a promotion at the cost of being around for Reid. I think that when I returned to work I still thought I could have my cake and eat it, too. Those months as a director showed me that I can’t, or at least not in a communications group. It helped me to decide to take a new job writing policy that lets me have more of a life-work balance. When I look at others getting a promotion, I have to remember that stressful time when I barely saw my precious girl. So, I’m on the mommy track. It’s a good track, it’s working for me and my family and that’s what counts.

And you? Do you keep track of your return to work anniversary or celebrate your decision not to return to work each year?

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July 18, 2007 by Barbara.

Reid had gymnastics again last night. It was as fun as the first class. Reid’s strength and balance were pretty impressive (said the proud mama who has poor balance herself). She was able to walk up the wall to do the handstand all by herself. I’m wondering if we’ll rue this ability but she hasn’t tried to do it at home. Yet.

On one mat, there were some hand marks and there were feet marks next to the mat; the kids were to use them as guides to hop onto the mat. The next mat had both hand and foot marks and the kids were to jump off the mat. Reid was able to do these relatively well, with her performance improving at first and then declining on the last couple. I’m not sure if she was getting over confident or tired but she did a pretty nasty-looking face plant near the end the resulted in a sad face but no tears and she tried again the next time we got there in the circuit.  There was a thick mat for rolling backwards onto, as well. Reid didn’t want to hug her knees. It’s funny. She refused to do it during warm up and then at the activity. She *did* like the wedge mat that helped her do some fabulous sommersaults. I think of these as building block activities that are leading to some greater skill.

In the next part of the class, we moved to the bars. The teacher said that the kids were to be monkeys and, boy, did they obey. Reid loves to hang from the bar at daycare - and from the towel racks at home! (We’re on the lookout for the latter.) The teacher had Reid try to lift and hold her legs in front of her at one and at another she hung and did the splits (I don’t remember the official term). She was able to let go and land from a few feet from the ground. Bravery and balance, Reid has both. They hung lengthwise from their hands and feet, in what we called a “ketchup bottle” pose when I was a kid. There were parallel bars that Reid climbed onto from a wedge mat and then made a tunnel on with one hand and foot on each bar. By the end, she was creeping forward a bit. The last piece of equipment was a large-weave net that was secured only at the top. Reid was not interested in it at all but it was facinating to others and so she got more turns on the hanging bars and that was okay for her.

We were on the trampolines for the last segment. There were 4 kids and 4 trampolines. Reid seemed disconcerted by the bouncing. Last week, she ran/hopped but this week she was to hop on the spot. She insisted I hold onto her hand while she jumped. Reid’s a bit of a control freak but she comes by it honestly. From her dad, of course.

At various points through the class, the teacher asked “who wants to …” and “who can …”. Each time Reid smiled and whispered to me, “I do” or “I can” and waited like a coiled spring to move to the activity.

Many times over Reid was told to “ride her motorcycle” in description of the stance they wanted her to adopt at the end of a movement. *I* understand that they want her to land with her feet together with her bum lowered and her hands extended. It’s a stable position and good for stopping motion. Reid though, thinks of revving the engine and making the vroom-vroom noise as she moves about rapidly. I’ll have to think of a different way to describe what is required. Suggestions are welcome.

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