October 23, 2007 by Barbara.

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October 23, 2007 by Barbara.

I’m not the one who coined the phrase but I do believe that weaning is a 4 letter word. I think that it is the sort of word that shouldn’t be used in public and especially not in front of children. Before I had a child I admit that I thought breastfeeding was natural and right but it should end by a certain point. I listened and nodded when people said that if a child could ask to nurse or lift a shirt then they were too old to still be nursing. When we had trouble at first, I was too busy fighting to learn what I needed to do to feed my baby to plan for weaning. As time went on, I nursed on demand and trusted in my baby and myself to figure out what was needed next. At a year, Reid still needed to nurse and I went back to work. I continued to nurse when we were together and ignored the dictate from her daycare teachers to stop nursing during the day when we were together. It would make Reid’s day easier, they said. I tried for a while but I couldn’t figure out how Reid could understand why I denied her the comfort that she needed when I could offer it. At that point, I realized that I wouldn’t be weaning Reid because that would be a unilateral betrayal of us as a nursing pair.

At three, Reid doesn’t nurse nearly so much as she did as a newborn, of course, nor even as much as she did as a toddler. She nurses just as much as she needs, more when she is sick, and always at bedtime and when she first wakes. She has talked about being too big for “milkies” but has always changed her mind. I tell her that it will be her decision but I know I will be sad when she nurses for the last time.

I believe that wean is a word for people who don’t trust in the nursing pair. Children must be weaned or they will be spoiled. They will be dependent and they will not be normal. Never mind the centuries of humans nursing when and as needed as long as they need. We need to trust ourselves and our children. We don’t need to pick an arbitrary date or occasion to stop trusting and start weaning.

 I wrote this post as part of the October Carnival of Breastfeeding hosted by the Motherwear Breastfeeding blog.

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October 23, 2007 by Barbara.

Sometimes I think to myself about how shaped our life is by the fact we live in Ottawa. It’s more than that we have jobs that pay pretty well and offer interesting intellectual challenges (maybe more so for me since Ken’s is drawn down many bureaucratic rabbit holes), we have the opportunity to enroll Reid in classes and go to events that aren’t available in all parts of Canada.

On Saturday, Reid and I went to the basement while Ken worked upstairs. Reid loves the basement and we really don’t go down often enough to suit her. I was intent on taking pictures of some toys and shoes (I have a mini Imelda Marcos) that I want to sell on Kijiji or Craig’s List. I haven’t used either and don’t know whether I’ll post to both, some on each or what. I though eBay would be too complicated once shipping was factored in and Kijiji and Craig’s List both have Ottawa “branches”. Score one for being in a large-ish city.

As a side note, I must say that for Reid whichever toy I was photographing was the most interesting thing that we had in the basement. At least until I picked up the next toy. I had a few second thoughts at first about what I’d chosen to get rid of until I had gone through enough to identify the pattern. Reid also insisted on trying on some red glitter shoes that were 2 sizes too small. Ah, now those were beautiful shoes. I bought them for Reid to wear with her fancy Christmas dress last year but couldn’t find them at Christmas. When I got Reid’s summer clothes out, there they were. I talked Reid into taking them off with the mention of silver sparkly shoes to be worn this Christmas.

We went to Kindermusik - a classs open to us because we are affluent enough to pay the fees and because we live in a city. In a rural or remote area, it simply might not be offered. Reid wouldn’t speak to M., the girl who has been in Reid’s class since she was 14 months old. She hid behind my legs. Funny kid. We talk about seeing M. and a couple of the others whose names I know on the way to class but that isn’t enough, I guess. Reid did volunteer 2 more names of kids in her class, though, Saturday afternoon. That is progress.

Reid and I went to Mei Fung for lunch. We shared some shrimp rolls - Reid was willing to eat only the smallest of morsels of shrimp and some vermicelli noodles with lettuce - and a bowl of vermicelli noodles with chicken, peanuts and bean sprouts, etc. Reid tried the chicken. Throughout she drank the tea that came with our meal. When Ken asked Reid about her lunch, she told him that the she had liked the tea but nothing else. She also liked the chopsticks that we were given though her technique was a bit crude.

Reid fell asleep as we drove home and I took a drive to look at the fall colours. I listened to a book-on-CD that I’d transferred to my iPod. It was a wonderful, sunny day and the leaf colours were so vibrant. I enjoyed the experience and solitude and Reid got a good nap in all at the same time as Ken was doing housework.

We picked Ken up at 1:30 to go downtown to the change of command ceremony for the Cameron Highlanders of Ottawa. I attended a similar ceremony a few years ago but it was held in the Cartier Square Drill Hall. This year’s ceremony was held on Festival Plaza in front of City Hall. The pipes and drums band was playing when we arrived. Reid and I found a couple of seats and Ken had to go off to take some photos. When the band marched off, Reid was crestfallen. I assured her that the musicians would come back. The band and soldiers of the regiment eventually marched on and the ceremony started. Reid stood at the required times and was mostly quiet as the ceremony unfolded. I hadn’t thought to bring a good range of snack, drinks and activities but I did find my “emergency” Lik’m'aid package in my bag. I convinced Reid that the candy stick was just like a lollipop and it kept her busy for quite some time. I tried sharing the powdery stuff with her, too, but that was just plain messy. I used to know more about military parades but I’ve forgotten quite a lot. Reid had questions, though, and I did my best with answering them. I’m not sure what the military men sitting near us thought of my explanations but Reid was satisfied. For example, we were there to see the soldiers get a new boss. The old boss (aka the outgoing Lieutenant Colonel) was signing papers to say that he wasn’t the boss anymore and the new boss (aka the Major who will soon be a Lieutenant Colonel) promised to take good care of the soldiers. Their big boss (aka commander of 33 Canadian Brigade Group) sat between them and watched. Near the end, the old boss marched in front of the assembled troops to say goodbye to the soldiers. Mostly Reid was interested in listening to the band and watching the soldiers marching around. She wasn’t really interested in the speeches, surprisingly enough ;+)

We attended a reception after the ceremony. Reid insisted we follow Ken into the officers’ mess. I saw that there were other kids in there and so we went in. It was crowded but we saw the mayor receive a regimental coin. The Camerons are the City of Ottawa’s regiment but the previous mayor didn’t ever turn up to any events. The new mayor, Larry O’Brien, came to the full change of command ceremony and then stuck around for the reception. I’m not saying I voted for the guy but I have to say I was impressed by his attendance.

We went home and Reid and Ken chilled while I went to the grocery store. It was a good and busy day for our family in Ottawa.

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October 23, 2007 by Barbara.

Sometimes other languages have better words than English. I like “a un moment donne” which means “at some point in the past, it doesn’t matter specifically when” to start a story. “Verklempt” comes in handy, too on occasion. It certainly did on Friday when I was having lunch with a friend whose husband will be going to Afghanistan in the next couple of weeks and she was saying that she wanted to make sure that her daughters’ school didn’t make Remembrance Day only about soldiers going overseas and dying. She wanted to be sure they talked about the important jobs the soldiers do and that most do come home. Yeah, Carol was right when she said that she was feeling verklempt - overcome with emotion. Me, too.

On a lighter note, Reidisms are often more apt to the task than a word that I might choose. Sunday morning we were in the Byward Market and stopped for a drink. Reid had been dying for “bottle water” and I can always find room for a cup of hot chocolate. The restaurant we chose served the hot chocolate in bowls. Reid was impressed. “Is that hot choc-lick?!” she asked. Yum, yes! It, like its non-melted counterparts, was well worth a lick.

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