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Archive for October, 2007

Need to know – the feminine conspiracy

Monday, October 15th, 2007

As Ken and Reid were leaving for daycare this morning, he asked me when I thought I’d get home tonight. I guessed it would be shortly after 9:00. He then asked if I’d be home between work and the meeting. Before I could answer, Reid chimed in to say that I was going to a meeting and would be eating supper away from home. Ken was a bit exasperated and said he should have known to ask Reid. He thinks that women in my family keep information from male family members and “outsiders”, which include anyone not of my family.

In my defence (it’s my blog and so I get to mount my defence), we spent 6 hours in the car together this weekend and I was awake for at least 3 of them. We also spent some time together last night and he never asked them. Of course, I didn’t volunteer anything but that doesn’t mean that he is right.

Posted in Barbara's family, Mama | 887 Comments »

That’s not how we did it in my family

Monday, October 15th, 2007

Ken and I have different expectations around what should happen at supper. One of our differences is around staying at the table from start to finish of the meal. For the most part, I can see that he is right but in my family getting up in the middle of a meal was commonplace and it’s proving to be a very hard habit to break. Before Reid was born and even for months afterward, we ate in the living room most nights. It sounds awful to admit this but the admission explains why we’re having this conflict 10 years after we were married. Now that we are a family with a daddy, mama and child, we’re facing a clash of family of origin expectations.

Another of of the behaviours that seems akin to fingernails on a chalkboard for Ken is singing at the table. Grandma Joyce has a song or part thereof for every occasion and I have inherited many of them. Reid is also a singer. Still, I try to remember that it bothers Ken.

On Saturday at supper, Grandma Barb served Jello for dessert. Reid turned down the pies and apple crumble and focussed only on the Jello. At some point, I was overcome with the desire to sing “J-e-l-l-o” and I did. Immediately, Grandma Barb said, “You’ll cry before bedtime.” Apparently there is a saying, “Sing at the table and you will cry before bed.” Ken said, “That explains things” since Reid both sings at the supper and sometimes at bedtime as well.

Posted in Barbara's family, Ken's family | 1 Comment »

There is always something wonderful about this age

Sunday, October 14th, 2007

Have you ever thought, “my child is at the perfect age” or “things have got to get better, if I can just survive this stage”? I have to admit to thinking that the former was true more than the latter. I hesitate to admit it since that might bring a series of rotten ages and stages down upon me ;+)

When Reid was a tiny, she nursed with a ferocity that startled me. Her eyes would scrunch closed and she would nurse like it was the only thing in her world. She slept with equal intensity and occasionally opened her eyes to look at us like she wondered why we happened to her. I had a few moments where I wondered why I didn’t have one of those babies who gazed adoringly at their mamas when they were nursing but someone explained the babies from the books and pamphlets were older. I was glad for a baby that wasn’t yet mobile as Ken and I had much to learn about being parents, for all of our experience with relatives’ and friends’ kids. My favourite Reidism of this age was her ability to fight her arms free of the tightest swaddling. Sometimes Ken and I would watch her do it, just for entertainment.

Once Reid had done enough “tummy time” and developed the muscles for moving on to bigger and better things, like moving on her own, for instance. She learned to crawl when Ken was in Holland for VE Day ceremonies for work. At first, she showed her new found skill to Uncle Roge and then played possum, or possum statue, for a couple of days. I was proud of her skills and it ushered in an era of me having a buddy in the bathroom. Since I could no longer trust her to stay put, I put her on her potty chair and read her books whenever I needed to use the bathroom. From about 9 months on, Reid was dry in her diaper during the day and I was a bit puffy with the pride of it. We also read many, many books together and that was a great thing on its own.

Toddlerhood was fabulous in its own way, of course. Having a walking, talking, little person kept us busy. Reid became best friends with a little girl at daycare and showed her opinions in so many other ways. Reid has always had clear preferrences but as a toddler she was able to tell us about them. I felt like I was finally getting to know a person that I had been spending so much time with. Nursing was an adventure with Reid – she was an acrobatic little creature, nursing while balancing on foot and in other improbable positions but at night she was silent and snuggly and just as intense as she was when she was an infant.

The more words that Reid has, the more I have found her to be an interesting little person. I have loved her from the beginning but as she mastered her verbal skills, the nature of our relationship has become more complex. I have always tried to – and succeeded at – enjoy the age that Reid is but I know that I was eager for her to have the words to tell what she wants and thinks. From her signs for “milk”, “more”, “book” and “all done” as baby of 12 or 13 months to the wonderful, chatty two’s, I welcomed each word.

At 3, Reid continues to talk a great deal at home. She is perfecting her grammar, paying attention to rhyme and being silly with words. We might wish for a few moments of quiet but we’d never wish away her words. Reid tells us her hopes and fears and plans out how she will achieve the former and deal with the latter. When I tried to wean Reid from nursing to sleep, at what turned out to be a stressful time in her life, she was clear about her position on the matter. She said, “I love milkies and I want milkies and I want milkies.” Since then, she has talked about being too old to nurse but hasn’t followed through on her decision to go asleep on her own. We’ll try again when it is the right age for her.

Each age has had its challenges but each has been so wonderful that I was sad to see it pass until it became apparent that the next would be just as good. When I’m tempted to rush a skill or habit, I remind myself of how Reid has somehow managed to grow to 3 years of age in just 2 weeks and stop and savour the time. If we’re present in the moment, each age is just the right one for our child to be.

This post was inspired by the group writing project over at MamaBlogga but I’m always glad to think back to the “good, old days”.

Posted in Mama, Uncategorized | 49 Comments »

Atira’s hug

Sunday, October 14th, 2007

Reid and I made hugs for Grandma Barb and Grandma Joyce for Mother’s Day. I traced Reid’s torso, arms and hands and she painted them. Then, I put an 8X10 photo on top. With the arms folded, the whole thing resembles a hug (if you squint your eye and tilt your head a bit).

Grandma Barb has her hug on her fridge. When Atira, who is 4, was visiting recently, she asked, “How does it work?” Grandma Barb removed the tape she had been using to hold the arms closed and helped Atira to a hug from Reid. How sweet is that?

Posted in Ken's family | 1 Comment »

Fancy plates, fancy forks, fancy, fancy, fancy

Saturday, October 13th, 2007

Last Sunday at noon, I took our turkey out of the fridge where it had been biding its time since Friday morning and opened the plastic wrap. Whereupon I discovered it was *still* frozen. After 50+ hours in the fridge! I read the wrapper, below the section that said you were supposed to keep the wrapper on while defrosting, to learn that I should have allowed many more hours per pound than I’d thought. Of course, I had bought a 14 pound turkey – the smallest I could find in the store – and by my math, it needed another day in the fridge or several hours in a sink full of water that was changed every half hour. Either way I wasn’t going to be putting a turkey supper on the table that night. So, turkey-lurkey went back into the fridge.

When I shared my turkey troubles with Aunt Karin helpfully advised that I should try a freezer-to-oven turkeys like Auntie M uses. It wasn’t so helpful a suggestion for the immediate problem and I’m pretty sure it’ll cost more (remember I’m sort of cheap) but if they make freezer-to-oven turkeys that are smaller than 14 pounds, I just might. Buying just a breast won’t work since my beloved likes the dark meat.

On Monday I popped the bird into the oven and prepared a reasonable sized turkey dinner. Read: I didn’t make the sweet potatoes and ham and pickle plates and stuffing that I wanted to in order to reproduce the meal that everyone would be having at Grandma Joyce’s. We had a salad, turkey, potatoes, green beans and corn on the cob. I know, I know, corn on the cob is odd for Thanksgiving but when I asked Ken what he wanted with the turkey and Ken didn’t answer but Reid put in a request for the corn on the cob. For me, deciding what to make is almost as much effort as making the meal. We had marshmallow salad for dessert since we had already eaten the apple pie I baked Sunday. You can’t just leave an apple pie on the counter, mice, fairies and who knows what might take it (and when it’s more of apple soup with a crust on top, it’s an even more pressing issue). I should note as well that Ken questioned the culinary traditions of my family for considering a dish containing marshmallows and coconut to be a “salad” but since I saw it on the salad bar at the Antler Shanty restaurant at Great Wolf Lodge, I knew we weren’t alone in our craziness. Given my overall unfavourable impression of the Antler Shanty, it’s not the ringing endorsement for which I might have hoped.

During supper, Reid noticed that Ken was eating a drumstick while she and I had pieces of white meat. Ken is the only one of he and I who likes dark meat and since I’m usually the one who puts food on Reid’s plate white meat is all she has had. Ken is a good sharer, though, and offered Reid some of his drumstick. She accepted it quickly but seemed to bite into a fatty bit and handed it back just as quickly. Ken turned the drumstick so that a nice, meaty portion was closest but Reid wasn’t interested. I told Ken that if I were him I wouldn’t push the issue since there is so much less dark meat on a bird. I learned this lesson from Grandma Joyce and Poppa Howard, who never made an issue of us kids eating asparagus.

More important to Reid than the food, though, was the table itself. I’d put a tablecloth on the table – for the first time since Reid was born, I think, since a tablecloth is said to be a hazard with a small child – and used my good china and cutlery. Reid has occasionally peaked into the china cabinet but I can’t remember the last time we used anything from it. (Ken’s birthday, maybe?) In any case, Reid was much impressed. She talked quite a lot about the “fancy plates” and “fancy bowls” and “fancy forks”.

On Tuesday night, she asked for a fancy plate again and was offended when I didn’t provide a fancy fork when I returned with the plate. A fancy plate and fork were required again on Wednesday night. We ate out Thursday and the fancy plate and fork weren’t mentioned last night. I put them away this morning. It’s fun to have someone who shares my affection for the china. Perhaps we’ll start using the china every Sunday. Ken is ambivalent, I think but Reid and I like it enough for him. And we *did* ask for it as wedding presents, after all.

Happy, very belated, thanksgiving by the way.

Posted in Barbara's family, Food, Mama | Comments Closed

Cough syrup – just say “no”

Saturday, October 13th, 2007

Health Canada issued an advisory on Thursday which cautions about the use of over the counter cough and cold medicines, especially for children under 2. For children under 2, they advise:

Do not use cough and cold products, including drugs and natural health products, in children under 2 years of age unless instructed to do so by a healthcare practitioner.
Even if the cough and cold products are labelled for use in children under 2 years of age (for example, they use the word infant in their name or have dosing instructions for infants) it is still preferable to discuss the use of these products with your healthcare practitioner before giving them to any young child.

There are cautions about the potential dangers of cough syrup use for children of any age.

When I read the full advisory, I was reminded about the material from Five Moms that I got at BlogHer07. The research they cite indicates that 1 in 10 teens have taken cough syrup to get high. There are many scary things that one can learn on the site because cough syrup is so readily available and, in the adult world, seems innocuous. The thing that most stuck with me is the fun sounding nicknames for the drug: Dex, DXM, Skittles, Syrup, Tussin, Triple-C, and CCCand the harmless words to describe what the kids are doing Robo-tripping, Dex-ing, Robo-fizzing, and Skittling.

Reid is 3 and I know I need to keep cough syrup out of her reach to prevent accidental ingestion. I will remember to discuss with her the choice she needs to make not to use cough syrup as well as any other drugs. I know these things because five moms decided to step forward and bring the message to the public. I’ve signed the pledge which asks, among things, that people pledge to talk to 5 more parents. If you read this, please leave a comment so that I’ll know if I’ve made my minimum.

Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments »

Gotta get in shape since November is National Blog Posting Month

Saturday, October 13th, 2007

I’ve always targeted daily postings but I going to try for daily postings in November so that I can hang with the cool kids, like Amy at Crunchy Domestic Goddess, Half-Pint Pixie, Stacie at The Twinkies, Casey at The Beautiful Letdown, and many others. If you want to join, too, Sign up for NaBloPoMo and become a member of Breastfeeding and Mothering, if the mood strikes you.

Thanks to Angela at Breastfeeding 123 for drawing my attention to NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month).

Posted in Uncategorized | 78 Comments »

Happy Birthday to Chris – Thursday Thirteen

Friday, October 12th, 2007

I came across QTPies7′s blog today whose author was participating in a Thursday Thirteen meme (like a theme with links to other people who are writing on the same topic). I had in the back of my mind that I should write about Chris since it is his birthday and all. Being a time-challenged person, I’m going to post this as a two-for-one.

Here are thirteen reasons that I’m glad Chris is my brother:
1. When I was wee little, he bought me a yellow dress that I’m told I looked quite fetching when wearing it.
2. When I got a ladybug radio for Christmas and was looking for batteries for it, he told me that he knew where to find them. They were in the last place I’d look, he said. When I asked exactly where that place was, he admitted he wasn’t sure but there wouldn’t be any point in me continuing to look once I found them.
3. He always has a brain teaser to share and even has a solution.
4. He was born so much sooner than me that he gave me a niece to play with when I was only 6 years old.
5. He let me stay at his house even though I walked in my sleep when I was a kid. It’s a big responsibility to have a house guest that might wander away and how would he have explained that to our mom.
6. When Reid was just days old, he came to visit and told me that he thought Reid looked like me in the eyes and across the bridge of my nose. No one else had suggested she looked like me at all. She barely did and so it was especially nice to hear.
7. He installed a ceiling fan in Reid’s bedroom when Ken was at work and I was whining about it being hot in Reid’s room. Chris takes action on things because he can and they need doing.
8. He takes great pictures of Reid.
9. He gives me tips for when I take pictures.
10. He always blinks when you first take a picture of him. The second picture is good. In this world of constant change, it’s good to have things you can count on.
11. You can count on Chris for the definition of “want” versus “need”. As in: a parent must provide what his or her children need but not what they want. Therefore, if a parent provides food that the kids don’t like, well, tough. Good parenting advice, really.
12. He never complained when he got me, another girl, instead of a brother who would have evened up the family at 3 boys and 3 girls. Or he got over it before I was old enough to remember ;+)
13. He won’t be offended that I’m a day late writing this because I fell asleep with Reid last night.

Happy (belated) birthday, Chris!

Edited to add: I wrote part of this on Thursday. I hope that counts for the Thursday Thirteen rules.

Posted in Barbara's family, Thursday Thirteen | 108 Comments »

Children’s Television Workshop and expendable crew members

Thursday, October 11th, 2007

I read The Day Snuffy Had the Sniffles by Linda Lee Maifair to Reid during a potty break in the middle of supper recently. Reid used to require a companion, preferably one who would read to her, at all potty breaks but lately she has preferred the independence of going to the bathroom alone. I’ve got quite used to not having the table in the middle of a meal. Sometimes, though, Reid puts in a request for someone to read to her. It’s rare enough that I agreed.

Reid does not know many of the Sesame Street characters. I’ve never seen DVDs of the original show to buy, rent or borrow and have to confess that I find Elmo annoying. We listen to the Sesame Street 25th anniversary CD in the car sometimes and I try to explain who is singing but it’s pretty abstract. So, there we were, me reading a book about original Sesame Street characters (from a church rummage sale) and Reid doing what she should be doing on a potty break. Each time a character appeared, we had to discuss who she or he was. At one point, Big Bird and Betty Lou were in the library and Reid was quizzing me about the characters looking at books, doing homework at tables and that sort of thing. None of them were familiar to me. I told her that each was an “expendable crew member”. Ken laughed at me and reminded me that Reid had never seen Star Trek.

Imagine that! Reid is 3 and has seen neither the original Sesame Street nor Star Trek of any series. And I tell myself I expose Reid to important cultural traditions …

Posted in Books | 3 Comments »

Breast fest – warning breasts at work

Wednesday, October 10th, 2007

I’ve written about breastfeeding a few times and am going to do so again today. First, if the blogosphere smiles on me, I am uploading some pictures. Next, I’ll write a note to Reid.