Archive for July 27th, 2011

Advice for when Reid chooses her married name

Wednesday, July 27th, 2011

I don’t know whether Reid will ever marry but if she ever does, I have a few bits of wisdom to share. Well, at the very least, they are my thoughts. Given my memory by the time of Reid’s big day, I might not remember them and so I’m putting them here.

I’ve always used only Dundas (some people use one name professionally and another outside of work). I didn’t see changing my identity – I already had Bachelors and Masters degrees and a profession.

Schools are used to the mom and kids’ names not matching; I introduce myself as “Barbara Dundas, Reid’s mom” and all is well. Reid carries Dundas as a second middle name. I have a friend who decided to hyphenate when he was a teenager/young adult, since he already had his mother’s name as a middle name.

Unless you choose a new name, you’re carrying a man’s name (dad’s or husband’s or wife’s dad – if marrying another woman) so there is no “independent woman” consideration. Hyphenation seems long but I know many hyphenated women.

You and your spouse-to-be could always choose a new name just for the two of you.

Chantelle sent me a message a few weeks ago, asking what last name I use. I sent her preceding text (with minor changes) and realized at the end, she probably was wondering how to address a wedding invitation. I covered many points but not whether I use “Mrs.” or not. I don’t, since there is no “Mr Dundas” but how was she to know. Next time I’ll have to write even more.