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The Best Gifts – Breastfeeding Carnival

Monday, November 26th, 2007

Welcome, Carnival of Breastfeeding readers.

Ive written about The Best Gifts by Marsha Forchuk Skrypuch before but when I read that the theme for this months Breastfeeding Carnival was a review of a book or video related to breastfeeding, parenting, or giving birth, it was the first that sprang to my mind. If I had to choose an advice book to take to a deserted island, I would take Dr Jack Newmans Guide to Breastfeeding. It was the book that I opened in the dead of the night or whenever I had a question but the questions are all the more pressing in the middle of the night. Im sure that someone else will cover Newman’s work, though, and I wanted to write about a book that simply presents breastfeeding as a normal part of childhood. The images and story in this book are those that are sorely lacking in most childrens story books.

Like many mothers, I am careful to choose books that depict people of different races and family situations, those in rural and urban neighbourhoods, kids with disabilities and those that live far away or near to us. What I was unable to find in the first two years of my daughters life was a book that depicted our nursing relationship. And then one day, I discovered The Best Gifts in the parenting section of my local library.

The Best Gifts tells the story of the life of a baby/girl/woman as she grows from a nursling to a nursing mother. The book describes a number of occasions for celebration and how presents received are cause for joy and gratitude but that the best gifts can’t be purchased. In the first example, visitors bring gifts for the newborn baby but it is as the baby is wrapped in love and a light scent of lavender as the warmth of her mother’s milk swirled in her mouth and filled her tiny stomach… that happiness deepens. As the girl grows older, her parents give gifts of time and history. The story ends with the main character now a nursing mother in her own right providing her own son with mother’s milk and love. On both occasions when breastfeeding is featured, the father is shown as an involved member of the family, cuddling the mother and child while the baby nurses.

The illustrator of The Best Gifts, Halina Below, uses watercolours and watercolour pencils to create soft images that convey a gentle love. They match well with the soft tone of the story and draw a child into a discussion of what is contained in the image.

A list of resources is provided at the end of the book, providing contact information for Canadian and international organizations that support breastfeeding.

Mothers-to-be and those in the midst of nursing a child need access to books that will answer their questions about the mechanics of nursing and provide solutions to the challenges that some will face. The Best Gifts should be on their bookshelves as well in celebration of the nursing relationship itself.

Children should have access to this and other books that depict breastfeeding relationships as part of childhood to instill a sense of the normalcy of nursing. The baby bottle has been the symbol of infancy for too long. Our children should not automatically reach for a bottle when they play with their dollies, they should reach for the hem of their shirts. And in the future books such as this one will be on the shelves with all of the other picture books and not segregated to the parenting section.

Does anyone have other stories for children that depict breastfeeding?

Check out the other participants’ reviews in the November Carnival of Breastfeeding. I’ll be updating this list throughout Monday and Tuesday as the entries are posted.

Posted in Books, Carnival of breastfeeding, Mama | 100 Comments »

I fear, I fear, I fear – reverse Works for Me Wednesday

Tuesday, November 6th, 2007

Remember when I told you about that trip we made to Upper Canada Village when Reid kept singing the “I feel, I feel, I feel” part from the song Shoo Fly, Don’t Bother Me? Well, that song is in my head again and for sadder reasons. Since shortly before Halloween, Reid has begun to be afraid of things. Not afraid in the sense of leery about attempting to jump from the platform at gymnastics or jump off of the wall into the pool, but afraid of things for abstract reasons.

Reid didn’t wear her Halloween ponytail decorations that were shaped like bats because they scared her. She likewise refused her black shirt with appropriately placed arms bones and a rib cage that glow in the dark. We read a book called Skeleton Hiccups by Margery Cuyler a couple times and then it had to come out of the line up. The one about Ten Timid Ghosts by Jennifer O’Connell remained acceptable (though I thought it was the creepier of the two). Maurice Sendak‘s Where the Wild Things Are was rejected at first glance although I cajoled Reid into letting me read it to her. When we were done, she pronounced it still scary and it sits on her bookshelf.

About 4 am this morning, Reid woke from a bad dream. She asked me to take her to sleep in the “big bed” with Daddy. As Ken doesn’t sleep well with Reid in our bed, I told her that it was too cold in there – and that was true enough as far as it went. After a few moments, Reid told me that she was scared. I told her that I’d stay with her, that Daddy was in the next bed, Grandma Joyce was on the main floor and Aunt Karin was in the basement. We would all take care of her, I promised. Another pause followed and then Reid said, “I ‘fraid of bullies.” That was a surprising sort of confession, I thought. I asked whether there was someone at daycare who wasn’t being nice to her. She said there wasn’t. I told Reid if someone was being a bully she should say, “Stop! That is not a nice way to treat me.” And also that she should tell one of the teachers about it. I told her she could use the same approach at gymnastics, Kindermusik and elsewhere. I asked if these were places that she’d encountered a bully. Reid said “no” to all options. I wonder if she saw something on television or in a book. Since I don’t watch everything with her or read all of the books that she sees, I’m not sure what to use as a starting point for a discussion about bullies.

When we had problems with Boy X at daycare, I looked for books about bullying appropriate for preschoolers and found nothing suitable. If anyone has a good book in mind, please let me know.

But Reid’s fears, it turns out, aren’t limited to bullies. She also told me that she is afraid of big houses. When I asked if she considered our house to be large. Reid refined the problem. She is, she said, afraid of tall houses. I reiterated that I would stay with her to keep her safe and Ken was just in the next room. I think she told me about another fear but I can’t pin the memory down. I’m an early bird but it was a bit too early for me. Reid settled down after awhile and finally fell back asleep.

I’m sad that Reid is developing fears of things that she has no direct experience with being threatening. It’s healthy to respect innate danger and such fears give Reid a challenge to overcome. These new fears are not ones that I can easily help Reid address. Working in the abstract and not knowing the exact nature of her existing fear, I’m worried about feeding the problem rather than resolving it. It’s easier with a baby isn’t it? Their needs are more immediate and concrete. I’m pretty sure that when Reid was a baby I envied parents with children who spoke to describe their problems while I contended with a babe who cried and needed be to decipher the trouble. It’s amazing how fast one’s point of view changes.

Any and all parenting tips for dealing with fears are welcome.

Posted in Books, Mama, Works for ME | 3 Comments »

Children’s Television Workshop and expendable crew members

Thursday, October 11th, 2007

I read The Day Snuffy Had the Sniffles by Linda Lee Maifair to Reid during a potty break in the middle of supper recently. Reid used to require a companion, preferably one who would read to her, at all potty breaks but lately she has preferred the independence of going to the bathroom alone. I’ve got quite used to not having the table in the middle of a meal. Sometimes, though, Reid puts in a request for someone to read to her. It’s rare enough that I agreed.

Reid does not know many of the Sesame Street characters. I’ve never seen DVDs of the original show to buy, rent or borrow and have to confess that I find Elmo annoying. We listen to the Sesame Street 25th anniversary CD in the car sometimes and I try to explain who is singing but it’s pretty abstract. So, there we were, me reading a book about original Sesame Street characters (from a church rummage sale) and Reid doing what she should be doing on a potty break. Each time a character appeared, we had to discuss who she or he was. At one point, Big Bird and Betty Lou were in the library and Reid was quizzing me about the characters looking at books, doing homework at tables and that sort of thing. None of them were familiar to me. I told her that each was an “expendable crew member”. Ken laughed at me and reminded me that Reid had never seen Star Trek.

Imagine that! Reid is 3 and has seen neither the original Sesame Street nor Star Trek of any series. And I tell myself I expose Reid to important cultural traditions …

Posted in Books | 3 Comments »

My Harry Potter addiction

Saturday, September 29th, 2007

Ken and I took a couple weeks off, beginning Monday, with the intent of doing some work around the house, doing a whole lot of nothing and doing something with Reid. This past week, Reid went to daycare; Ken cleaned, purged and organized his home office and I spent most of three days reading Harry Potter. Like many people, I decided to re-read the books before reading The Deathly Hallows. I was slow to implement the plan and have very little reading time since I fall asleep with Reid many nights of the week. I was half way through the fourth book on Monday morning. I finished it Monday and started the fifth book immediately. I was sitting on the couch and it was within reach. I didn’t even have to move Clio, our cat who was delighted that I would sit for such long stretches at a time. I finished the Half-Blood Prince on Tuesday and again moved straight into the Deathly Hallows. I was maybe 30 pages from the end on Wednesday night when I noticed Reid was getting pruney in the tub next to me and it was later than it should have been. Still she didn’t fall asleep immediately and by the time Ken was able to rouse me, it was 11:30 and reading was out of the question. I was awake at 4:30 on Thursday and finished the book. Melissa lured me out of the house to the mall and so I had someone to talk to about the book. How perfect is that?

Perfect except, of course, for my poor neglected blog. I’ll have to stay away from such rivetting books and get my writing in. What books keep you away from your tasks?

Posted in Books, Mama | 34 Comments »

We both need to go to sleep

Thursday, September 20th, 2007

Reid didn’t sleep well Wednesday night and that means that I didn’t sleep well either. Ken had to go to a meeting in the evening and so my plan for Reid and me was simple – call Grandma Joyce, relaxing bath for Reid (with a little stress around the hair washing part) and early to bed. What really happened:

1. Reid was a little wild thing while I had Grandma Joyce on the phone and was interested in talking only if I let her stay in the bathroom where the water was running into the tub, which would have been the same as not talking since Grandma Joyce couldn’t have heard her;
2. I had to threaten not to read stories to get Reid into the tub, even though she had chosen which bathroom to use and had been in charge of turning the water on and off . I wish she would read the parenting advice books and columns that say that kids will do what you ask if they make decisions or help in the preparation;
3. When we finally headed for bed, Reid asked to go to Daddy’s bed and I agreed. We read four of the new Clifford books we got from Scholastic, and One Fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish by Dr Seuss (the latter while I was combing and braiding her hair). She wondered about reading another and I had to tell her that we both needed to go to sleep, right now. By the time I turned of the light we were late. I thought of stopping reading sooner but I didn’t want her to go to sleep remembering only the prodding and bossing that had happened and I’m not sure that she would have been asleep any earlier in the long run. This way she had a chance to wind down before trying to sleep. Me, I was asleep pretty quickly, as well.

At 3:50am or so I woke up and decided that I might as well get out of bed. We’ll have to see how Reid does when she wakes up and whether the extra 15 minutes does her in.

Posted in Barbara's family, Books, Uncategorized | 120 Comments »

It’s either fund a new wing at the library or keep track of the books that are due

Wednesday, September 19th, 2007

Ken has long teased me that I’m funding a new wing at the library through my overdue fees. When Reid was born, I vowed to straighten up and fly right. There’s nothing to highlight your faults and bad habbits than thinking of passing them on to your kids. I’ve made that vow before, usually after a period of tracking where each penny goes, with mixed success. The city libraries tries to be helpful and provide a printout of the titles and the due dates of the books that you are signing out. My problem is that I visit the library several times a week and often go to different branches. I’ve learned 4 good ways to cut down on the overdue books:
1. Ask for a printout of *all* books we have signed out, rather than just the newest acquisitions as the default is. (Thanks, Melissa for telling me about this.)
2. Go to the library’s website to view what books are due when. They list the soonest due first for ease of figuring out which ones to hunt for first.
3. Online renewal is always an option, even if you’ve finished the book but can’t put your hands on it. Beware of relying on this, though, since you can’t renew if someone else has requested the item.
4. Those special, sturdy, brightly-coloured library bags that the friends of the library sell are really worth the expense. We use many cloth bags each week for many different things. Reserving the bright blue ones for library books helps to locate them. We still have to be vigilant about putting the books back into the bags, of course.

So, these are the things that work for me this Wednesday. For more tips, visit Rocks in My Dryer.

Posted in Books | 21 Comments »

Spelling it out

Friday, July 27th, 2007

At Lincoln Park Zoo yesterday, I spelled a word so that Reid wouldn’t know that I know swear words. Like her daddy does. Shea’s grinned and said that he remembered when he didn’t know what we meant when we spelled things. It made me think of a book that we’ve been reading to Reid lately, A Birthday for Frances by Russell Hoban. Frances, a lovely little badger, likes to spell words. At one point, she mentions that her imaginary friend doesn’t get a cake and F-R-S-Q (or something like that) and her mother asks what F-R-S-Q means. Frances replies, “Cake. I thought you could spell.” (or that’s the gist of what she said.) I’m looking forward to when Reid catches on to what we’re spelling. I know I will regret it later but right now I focusing on the joy of sharing my love of words. But I don’t know if I’m ready for pig latin as Liz at This Full House just wrote about. I just discovered her blog. But I’ll go back, you should check it out.

Does everyone spell in front of their kids? Are there other tips for subterfuge that I should know about?

Posted in Books, Uncategorized | 85 Comments »

More people in the basement

Tuesday, July 24th, 2007

Saturday was another people-in-the-basement day. At bedtime on Friday, I told Reid that Uncle Roger, Auntie M, Danielle and Isabelle would be in the basement when she woke up and she nodded happily and then asked about Lee-Lee (Kailee). I said that Lee-Lee wouldn’t be there and Reid was sad for a bit. I’m not sure I’d have gone on family vacations as a university student either (probably I would have since I’ve long enjoyed freeloading) but I’d been hoping that she would come. Reid, obviously, hadn’t been listening when I told her that Lee-Lee was taking a pass. Or maybe Reid didn’t want to it to be so and so she decided it *couldn’t* be so.

Reid was happy to see Uncle Roge sleeping on the couch when we got downstairs. He took one for the team by sleeping upstairs, getting the first kisses, and delaying Reid’s trip to the basement. When we did get downstairs, we found Auntie M waiting eagerly for the kiss and snuggle that Reid was there to deliver. Isabelle, Danielle’s friend who is practically a cousin in Reid’s mind, had quick smiles for Reid but Danielle tried to sleep through. Like she is a teenager or something! Oh wait, she *is* a teenager and it *was* 6:30 am.

Always a good hostess, I had less than half a cup of milk and so Roger and I were at the grocery store when it opened at 7:00. As we walked to the checkout, I noticed a woman with a copy of the newest Harry Potter book. It turned out that she didn’t need it afterall and so by 7:15 I had a copy in my hands for almost half-price. Now I need to organize myself to re-read the other books first.

After breakfast, Danielle and Izzy put on a little performance through the window to the living room as we sat in the dining room, featuring two Dora the Exporers, a baby doll and a cat. Later, Auntie M and the girls headed to Old Navy for super summer deals – $2.47 for jeans, kind of deals – while Uncle Roge, Reid and I went shopping for batteries. Reid had eaten her breakfast while I was at the grocery store and so hadn’t had the chance to mooch from me. She was hungry by the time we were half way to mall. I got her a hamburger for the trip back and when we were almost home, we let Reid talk us into stopping at the park. I went the rest of the way to get Auntie M, Danielle and Isabelle. They all came and the big girls played on the water pad with Reid. Well, mostly the big girls played on the water pad and Reid played around it with the occasional foray into the water. It’s wonderful to see my “grown up” nieces and nephews playing as though they were kids (which, of course, they are). It happens when Danielle and Shea visit.

We ate lunch and then the girls and Auntie M helped us make birthday hats for when Melissa and her family came. Reid was delighted to have so many people drawing, colouring and gluing with her. Melissa’s family was impressed with the quality of the hats. Auntie M is particularly crafty, if you ever need help she is the one to call.

All too soon it was time for our guests to go where they were heading all along, we were just a stop on the way, and it was past time for Reid’s nap. She gave hugs and kisses and we all waved lots and then headed upstairs for a nap. Long visits are nice but we’ll take any visit that we can get.

Posted in Barbara's family, Books, Uncategorized | Comments Closed

Rotating the books

Thursday, July 12th, 2007

I try to rotate the books that we’re reading, really I do. I haven’t been doing as good a job as I should’ve, I guess, based on the scene that played out at Reid’s bedtime or Monday night.

First, Ken read Biscuit Loves Father’s Day. I had high hopes for this one since he’d begun by commenting about it’s nice that dads are in Father’s Day books, unlike in many of the other books we own. Now that I think of it, he did say something about the Father’s Day books being more about the kids than the dads but I didn’t consider it a real problem. Until Ken started reading the book aloud. He read about “Bisquick” who says “Meow! Meow!” in the places that Biscuit says, “Woof! Woof!” I didn’t pick up on the switch the first time. Reid didn’t object until the little girl was calling Bisquick a nice kitty and then she objected to such foolishness.

I offered Go, Dog. Go! as the second book but Reid said, “no” and Ken expressed approval of the decision. I thought he liked that book – maybe he used to. Instead, I passed him *The Mitt* by Jan Brett. I knew from his sarcastic, “oh, great” that we were in trouble. He pointed out the intricate designs surrounding the main picture saying, “These are the illustrations that mamas like.” Naturally enough, Reid asked, “And daddies.” Of course, Ken said daddies didn’t like them. Next he pointed out how the next animal to enter the story was featured in the miniature illustration of each page. Finally his comments were making both Ken and I laugh so much that Reid had to resort to a smiling, but firm, “Stop it, Daddy!” to get him back under control.

I’ve since measured the book shelves we have devoted to Reid’s books. There are approximately 9 linear feet of bookshelf dedicated to Reid’s books. This doesn’t include the 13 books in her backpack of the various volumes scattered around the house. I haven’t counted the 33 we currently signed out from the library. In short, we have many books but apparently not enough of them.

Thank goodness for the library, I say. I’ve a book with recommendations of authors and books that I need to use to order books from the library. It’s hard to choose kids’ books based on their spines. With Reid, especially, it can be a mad grab of books from shelves before she finds another bright, appealing book in another area. When I’m on my own, even, I’m impatient. Often I choose several books by the same author since they’re all together in one place. This falls apart when the authors tend to repetition. For example, “Franklin could count by two’s and tie his shoes.” gets old rather quickly. But not for Reid, of course.

I read the last stories of the day and find that it’s comforting to read a familiar story. I think it’s like spending time with an old friend while settling down. Okay, maybe part of it is that familiar books lead to fewer questions and less discussion – normally good things but not so much so at bedtime.

Posted in Books, Daddy, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Books we read, June 16th

Saturday, June 16th, 2007

At home, sitting on the floor of our bedroom because that’s where I had set the books last night after I recorded them and also where Reid sat and asked for them to be read to her:

Duck by David Lloyd, I’m thinking that this book will join The Big Honey Hunt in the give-away box since I have such negative feelings toward it. Reid has many other books to choose from; and
Chitter Chatter! (no author), the story of a bunch of animals who really need to listen carefully to details.

On the train we read:

Mortimer by Robert Munsch, with Reid supplying Mortimer’s “song”;
Henry and the Cow Problem by Iona Whishaw, I do love the imagined ingenuity of the cows;
Dinosaur Dreams by Kerry Westell, from which we learned that dinosaurs are very much like kids, dreaming about fingerpainting and kicking ice pieces and things of that sort rather than about eating the smaller dinosaurs;
And You Can be the Cat by Hazel Hutchins, with Norman who builds “a parapet (though he had no idea what a parapet was)”;
The Fire Station by Robert Munsch, the miniature version of which is very different and not as enjoyable as the full size one. Sheila is not the brave, devil-may-care ring leader encouraging Michael to be brave. Instead they are much more equal;
A Friend Like You by Roger Pare, any book starring cats is already a long way to being popular with our family; and
Then, no books at the zoo, supper and Reid fell asleep on the way to the hotel (mind you, it was 9 o’clock).

Posted in Books, Uncategorized | 12 Comments »

Tales of Life with a Girl on the Go