I wrote a while ago about what I thought I would do with 3 nights alone but the reality is that I haven’t had 3 nights alone in the last 3.5 years and I really don’t mind that much. I would like 3 hours alone or, at least, 3 hours without family responsibility a little more often than I’m getting it. It’s hard to write this without feeling like I’m rejecting my husband. We have scheduled too many activities for Reid in January and February – between gymnastics, skating, swimming and Kindermusik, we are more on the go than at rest. Planning time away for myself means cutting more time away from what is available for us as a couple. To add to this, I’ve been having trouble lately waking up after I’ve put Reid to sleep. It’s a good night when Ken is able to rouse me enough that I’ll climb straight into our bed, let alone be awake enough to tackle a hobby, book or well-thought out post.
I tend to grab snippets of time wherever I can find them. I try to dedicate my time on the bus to reading or writing blog posts or doing both, through the magic of books on cd via my iPod and Blackberry. Sometimes I’m torn between reading a book and writing a post. It seems selfish to read something just for me when I could be writing for Ken’s and my families to read. And, of course, for Reid to read when she grows up and for me to read when I grow old. Since I know I’m liable to regret not writing I often close the book. I am always happy when it it my turn to drive to daycare and works but am also glad of the 40-50 minutes that I spend on a bus most days.
For many years, since before Reid was born, I have been spending Thursday evenings with my friend, Melissa, and her family. Ken volunteered out of the house on most of those Thursday nights until just recently and so he wasn’t at home to miss me. Ken is able to volunteer from home but Reid and I still go to Melissa’s. I consider these visits, or slices of them, to be “me time”. For a long time, Melissa and I spoke almost daily on the phone. When she was new to Ottawa, I suspect the calls were important “me time” for her. When I was a new mom, the calls were certainly important for me.
There have been times in my life when I’ve gotten up at 4:30 or 5:00 to have time to myself before Ken and Reid are awake. This meets my need for alone time but pretty much puts an end to any hope that I’ll see Ken alone since I need to be asleep early to awake early. I’ve been trying to find my “me time” after Reid is in bed, with less success lately, but I’m a bit of a binger when it comes to “me time”. Ken will call down to me when he heads to bed and I mean to joing him in just a minute, really I do, but all too often it’s much later when I climb the stairs. I sit on the couch with my laptop on my lap, a cat at my side and maybe another on my legs and have a recorded show or dvd playing while I clean up or caption photos, write or markup posts or read blogs. I’m happy in my nest. It reminds me of being in university although the topics I write about are much less esoteric than the history and political science ones from 15 years ago.
I believe in the adage, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy,” and I need to find the “me time” to be happy. (Note: I do believe that Ken’s happiness is important, too, but he has his own blog upon which he can pontificate.) I just need to unlock the secret of not falling asleep and then I’ll be able to be awake to enjoy my “me time”.
Edited to add:
Check out the other contibutors to this month’s writing project. It seems we all face similar challenges and have similar hopes but there are also differences.
- Me. Me. Me! by Shawn
- Dear God, Why Me? by Megan Toney
- I’ll take care of me, one way or the other by Daisy
- Me Time by Jill
- I’m a person, not a calculator by Tracy
- Simple Things by Ursula
- Just Like Brigitte Bardot by Mama Zen
- Work IS My Time for Myself by Believer in Balance
- What Time is It? by Mommy Zabs
- Me-Time Is All in My Head by Marta Pelrine-Bacon
- Searching For My “Me Time” by Amanda
- Who Are We Kidding? by Mumple
- Me Time by Lisa
- I Need Some Me Time! by Lynnae
- My Time on the Throne by Candace (Mama Mia)
- Did Wonder Woman Ever Cry? by Julie Arduini
- Me Time! by Joleene Libby
- Me, myself and I by Deb – Mom of 3 Girls
- Don’t Just Do Something – Sit There! by Phyllis
- Me Time for Moms by Jordan (MamaBlogga )