Archive for September, 2007

When Reid is the mama

Thursday, September 6th, 2007

At breakfast yesterday, Reid was talking about what would happen when she is the mama and I am the baby. She will carry me around when I am tiny, until I grow up. In fact, she will carry me for the 7 days that it takes me to grow up. Ken laughed and said that growing up wasn’t that fast but Reid is sure that 7 days would be enough.

At bedtime, Reid was talking about breastmilk and how daddies don’t have it. I said that mamas have it after they have babies in their bellies because babies need it to grow bigger. I told her that when she stopped drinking my milk that it would go away. She seemed puzzled for a minute and then asked is her breasts would have milk then. I told her that girls don’t have milk until their big ladies who have had babies and, when asked, agreed that boys never have milk.

On the way to daycare this morning, Reid asked to listen to a Kindermusik cd. As I put one in, I reminded her that in just 9 days she would be starting her new Kindermusik class. She remembered that it was just for children. I said something about M. being in her class; M. has been in her class for two years. They’re growing up together, those two. And Reid, in her increasingly-familiar “little voice”, told me that she didn’t want to be grown up. I told her that she wasn’t grown up but *growing* each day.

We seem to be spending lots of time talking about growing up lately. It’s hard to know when to celebrate Reid getting big and being independent and when she’ll feel pressured by the suggestion. This whole parenting thing doesn’t get easier, does it? Just when I learn how to handle one situation, there’s a new one that crops up. ;+)

Learning charity

Wednesday, September 5th, 2007

When Reid outgrows clothing or doesn’t need something anymore, I tell her that we will to give it to kids who need it. When daycare has one of its food drives (2 per year), we take food because sometimes mommies and daddies try very hard but just can’t get enough food for their families. I don’t make a big deal of either sort of charity; I just try to make it seem like something that people just do.

This morning, Reid noticed her highchair was still in the dining room. Yes, *still*, even after I wrote that Reid and Ken happily gave it up a couple weeks ago. I don’t write about home organization tips and there’s a reason for that. In any case, Reid wanted to talk about it.

Reid: I don’t need a highchair, Mama. We should give it to someone who needs it
Mama: You’re right. We’ll give it away.
Reid: To a little baby. (Imagine Reid hold her hand up, with her index finger and thumb indicating a baby about 2-inches long while she kind of squints)
Mama: Sure, Reid.
Reid: I use a chair like you.
Mama: You do. You’re getting big. (The booster lasted no more than 3 days.)

The sound of my heart breaking – or at least getting bruised

Tuesday, September 4th, 2007

On Saturday, I told Reid that we were going to change our going-to-bed routine this week. I said that she would have milkies in the rocking chair and then we’d go to the bathroom to rince her teeth and then she would lay in her bed and go to sleep, just like she does at daycare. Reid got a quite thoughtful look on her face and seemed to be a little smaller than before as she commented about me sleeping with Ken and then said, in a heartbreakingly small voice, “I don’t have friends.” You could’ve heard my heart breaking a bit when I heard that. Of course, I told her she still had friends, that Mama and Daddy love her very much.

Come bedtime last night, I nursed Reid and then we went to the bathroom. Reid likes to rinse her teeth and spit – especially the spitting since she is not normally allowed to spit. I led her to her bed and snuggled in with her. The dentist can say that Reid must have her teeth rinsed after nursing but she doesn’t get to make it so that Reid feels like she has no friends. Reid wanted to nurse, though, and I told her the dentist said Reid’s teeth were getting sick. At first she argued that she liked milkies and wanted milkies and then she started to cry. There went my heart again, as she sobbed, “I want milkies.” I held her close and told her I loved her and that I liked giving her milkies, that she could have some in the morning.

I know that she probably wanted the comfort of sucking more than she lacked the breastmilk. She had nursed unhurriedly in the rocking chair before we got into bed. For 3 years I’ve been able to offer her comfort at my breast beyond simply breastmilk. I haven’t regretted a minute of the time we’ve spent together though I do regret however much it contributed to the cavity. Studies show extended nursers are healthier and more confident. I’m glad I’m giving these things to her but I admit that it was hard to hear her saying what she missed – it almost would have been easier to do it when she didn’t have words to tell me what she thought. I thought it, too, that making your baby go to sleep alone and then crawling into bed with someone just wasn’t fair. I hope the balance we reached will work.

On the road again, Eastern Ontario edition

Tuesday, September 4th, 2007

We lucked into a last minute rental of a cottage in Iroquois, Ontario (just an hour from Ottawa on the St Lawrence River) and so we’re not saying bad things about the people who said they were coming but then had to cancel. It’s funny that we went from a conversation of “if they all come, we’ll have to stack them like cord wood” to “wow, and now so-and-so has cancelled” to “so, what are the chances of a cottage” to “okay, now we have to tell anyone that changes their mind or decides to come that they can’t” in such a short time. There was also Aunt Karin email that said she and Shea were coming and my panicked phone call to explain they weren’t welcome – and her giggling that she knew I’d call before 8 am over her untrue message. I can laugh about it now. In the end, we found a cottage that we’ve thought of renting off and on for a couple of years and all is well.

We decide to do a bit touristing in the area, too. Once we got back from hot air balloon hunting Saturday morning, we packed up the car and headed to Fort Wellington, in Prescott. Ken and I went once a number of years ago, probably in the 1990s and we hadn’t been back. It’s a good historic site – relatively small but well-maintained. There were four costumed interpreters on-site, three of them women although one was dressed as a soldier. I’m not keen on historic cross-dressing but university-aged females do better than their male counterparts on the scored interviews that decide federal government jobs and it would be even more odd to see a fort with four “wives” and only one “soldier”.

We peeked into the officer’s quarters. The furnishings are posh and well-made and look a lot like what we have at home, except for the painted yellow floors. Still, we “oohed” and “ahhed” at what we were seeing. The next stop was the latrine building. In case you haven’t been to Fort Wellington, I’ll describe them:

  • Officers’ latrine: seats one, entrance from the end of the building;
  • Women and children’s latrine: seats two over round holes in board, entrance from the front; and
  • Soldier’s latrine: seats 8,  a wooden frame for perching precariously on while dangling one’s bottom, plus a tin cover long basin as urinal, entrance from the front.

Guess which one Reid was most interested in trying out. That’s right, the one where she was most likely to end up at the bottom of the pit. The information panel reported that the latrines were excavated in 1990 and one of the artifacts that was found was a child’s doll. My heart squeezed for that little girl who lost her dolly so long ago.

We climbed up the earthworks to look at a canon and Reid climbed on the carriage but not on the gun itself. I just couldn’t have let that happen, not having worked in forts for 4 years in university, knowing first hand that kids can get hurt and also that it’s disrespectful to artillery soldiers. We rolled down the ramp. Reid seems to have trouble getting her top and bottom halves to roll in sync. Sometimes her legs trailed and sometimes they led, it was funny to see either way. We went down the stone “hall” into the lookout area, with Reid making comments all the while, “It’s bumpy, Mama. You hold my hand; I’ll hold Daddy’s. Watch your feet.”

The woman who was dressed as a soldier’s wife in the barracks was wonderful. She encouraged Reid to lay on a bed and explained how whole families shared a double bunk-space with kids sleeping on the floors underneath the bunk, joined by rats and cat or dogs, of course. She helped Reid try on a dress and a day cap and showed her a bonnet. Then, she showed Reid the pants the soldiers would have worn and placed the tunic over Reid’s shoulders. She showed Reid a shoe that was not cut for right or left foot and Reid put it on and kept it on until we left the display. She got out a backpack, wooden canteen and cartouche (ammunition pouch) and let Reid try each on in turn. The interpretor provided Reid-sized bits of information for each item and more details if Ken or I seemed interested. Reid “scrubbed” the floor with a cleaning brush and then we went up to the floor with the play fort and Ken read the displays while Reid and I went around the exterior “hall”. I can’t remember the military term for it, but there were firing slots in the floor to allow defence against attackers who might try to destroy the barracks. There was a metal outline of a soldier demonstrating this firing stance in one corner. Reid looked at him and continued around the perimeter, calling out “look another soldier” as she started her second circuit.

Throughout the visit, we tried to explain the canons, look out and all in Reid-understandable words and concepts. She seemed happy with what she was hearing and asked questions that showed she was understanding what we said. Small children don’t have a good grasp of time but do accept “a long, long time ago.” Of course, the War of 1812 and when Mama was a baby share the same place in history more or less but that’s okay as long as Reid knows that soldiers have been protecting us for a long, long time.

We ate our lunch on the grass near the parking lot with the intent of Reid sleeping while we drove to the cottage. Instead she watched the river and talked to us on the drive, which would have been too short for a proper nap.

Hot air balloon chasing

Sunday, September 2nd, 2007

Since our hot air balloon watching picnic on Friday night didn’t include watching any hot air balloons, Reid and I went hunting for balloons on Saturday morning. I’d intended to go back to the same park but by the time I’d given Reid a bath and gathered some food for breakfast, there were lots of hot air balloons up in the sky already. Often they land at the golf course near our house but the wind was blowing them from their Gatineau launch site to the west end of Ottawa. We drove in that general direction, spotting new ones at they came out from behind buildings and trees.

There were many in the usual shape in various colour schemes. Of course, Reid prefered the ones that had lots of yellow on them. We also saw a peanut man, a birthday cake and a bear’s head with bees on his nose and the back of his head. Or at least I definitely saw them all. I’m only confident that Reid saw the Honey bear’s head. With her sitting in the back seat on the passenger’s side, it’s hard to know what it is possible for her to see, let alone pick out of the sky while we’re driving. We definitely didn’t see the Jesus head and shoulders with 4.5 metre tall kids surrounding him. I’m not sure what I think of the concept but I definitely would have looked if I’d had the chance.

After about an hour of balloon hunting, we were seeing many balloon chase vehicles but none that looked like they were moments from springing into action. It was time to go get Ken to go on our mini-vacation and so we headed for home. Last year we saw hot air balloons on Friday night but not Saturday morning. Next year maybe our luck will be reversed or maybe we’ll see them both days.

One of these times, I’d love to see a balloon land. I wonder what it’s like when they touch down. Do they bounce? Do the people throw sand bags out all at once or does the balloon descend simply because they give it less hot air?

In fact, at some point, I’m even thinking of paying the admission fee at the Gatineau Hot Air Balloon Festival / Festival de montgolfieres de Gatineau to see the hot air balloons take off. When we watch from Rockcliffe Park, we see them as they first lift off and float over. I bet we are able to see the balloons for a longer  period of time than the people at the festival. But we don’t see the balloons fill with hot air from nothing. It would be perfect to read *The Grumpalump* and then see the hot air balloons inflate. The program of events for this year’s festival mentioned a sort of sound and light show with people triggering the flames in their balloons in time with music. There is a midway and live entertainment as well. We’d go for the balloons but who knows what all we would do?

2nd annual hot air balloon watching picnic

Sunday, September 2nd, 2007

Melissa and her kids picked Reid and me up Friday night and we all went to Rockcliffe Park - it’s the one with the Scouts’ Dairy Bar  -to watch the hot air balloons at the Gatineau Hot Air Balloon Festival / Festival montgolfieres de Gatineau. The cloudy sky was trying very hard to rain as we got into the van but since we’d skipped the beach the night before, and we had to feed the kids one way or the other, we went to our lookout anyway. No one can remember when we left to watch the hot air balloons last year but I bet it was about the same time. There were only three cars on the side of the road when we arrived at the park, instead of the dozens from last year. I guess most people weren’t as optimistic as we were.

We got a prime picnic/hot air balloon watching spot and ate our supper. The kids played with the Phlat ball, which is a ball that collapses to make a Frisbee sort of thing, picked at each other as kids do and bugged their moms, too. We stretched out bathroom trips by going in shifts. Sarah was kind enough to help Reid, who would have kicked me out of the stall but humoured Sarah. Afterwards, Melissa tookthe kids to buy ice cream cones while I watched our stuff – and the sky with increasing desperation. Reid came back with her single scoop of vanilla, announced she had to go back to the bathroom and handed me her cone. “It’s not mines. It’s yours,” she said. “Au contraire,” thought I. I would have chosen mint chocolate, or cherry cheesecake or even strawberry. I only buy vanilla for home but at a dairy bar … Surprisingly enough, I took only a couple of licks before pitching the cone. I didn’t want it and so I shouldn’t eat it. And I didn’t.

Once the ice cream cones were gone, Melissa and I agreed that the skies weren’t going to clear in time for the hot air ballons to launch. The kids kept pointing to tiny breaks in the clouds where the blue sky peeked through but it was getting dark too fast.  The kids – even Reid – played a game that seemed to be a sort of cross between hide-and-seek and tag. Reid and Stephen were on a team for a while. He carried her around on his back. She smiled so big I thought her face might break.  It was a bit nerve-wracking, though, trying to keep track of kids who were trying to stay out of sight of each other. It’s hard to know how long a rope to give them, to let them be active and independent and trusted and how to keep them safe.

Reid and I got home at bed time. She had time to tell Ken a couple stories and have him read a couple, too. The picnic was good. The company was good. We’ll hope for hot air balloon sightings next year.