Archive for the ‘Growing up’ Category

Photograph – Monday moments

Monday, October 24th, 2011

If you looked at photographs from much of Reid’s childhood, you would think, “Wow, that kid goes a lot of fun places with her dad.” You might also think she does cool activities and wonder who was with her. To a large extent, I’m reluctant to give up control of the camera and Ken only occasionally takes it from me and gets me in a shot. Until…

Until Reid grew old enough to ask for the camera (expecting it to be shared) and to take pictures of both Ken and me – at the same time. All of a sudden, there we all are standing together at the top of a hill, overlooking a forest and lake at Deerhurst and Reid took a picture of Ken and me. Soon enough, the picture is printed and hung on a wall. We admire Reid’s photography skills and thank her for bringing us both into the photographic record.

Capital Mom provides a theme each Friday for these Monday Moments. Others have written about their own moments. I also wrote about other  Monday Moments.

Advice for when Reid chooses her married name

Wednesday, July 27th, 2011

I don’t know whether Reid will ever marry but if she ever does, I have a few bits of wisdom to share. Well, at the very least, they are my thoughts. Given my memory by the time of Reid’s big day, I might not remember them and so I’m putting them here.

I’ve always used only Dundas (some people use one name professionally and another outside of work). I didn’t see changing my identity – I already had Bachelors and Masters degrees and a profession.

Schools are used to the mom and kids’ names not matching; I introduce myself as “Barbara Dundas, Reid’s mom” and all is well. Reid carries Dundas as a second middle name. I have a friend who decided to hyphenate when he was a teenager/young adult, since he already had his mother’s name as a middle name.

Unless you choose a new name, you’re carrying a man’s name (dad’s or husband’s or wife’s dad – if marrying another woman) so there is no “independent woman” consideration. Hyphenation seems long but I know many hyphenated women.

You and your spouse-to-be could always choose a new name just for the two of you.

Chantelle sent me a message a few weeks ago, asking what last name I use. I sent her preceding text (with minor changes) and realized at the end, she probably was wondering how to address a wedding invitation. I covered many points but not whether I use “Mrs.” or not. I don’t, since there is no “Mr Dundas” but how was she to know. Next time I’ll have to write even more.

Alone – Monday Moments

Monday, July 25th, 2011

One Saturday morning, only a couple of weeks ago, I came home from one errand or another and saw Ken in the living room. “Where’s Reid,” I asked. “Upstairs,” he said. “She’s showering.”

“Did you start the water?” I wondered. “No,” Ken said. “She announced she was going to shower and then she did.”

“Alone?” I thought. “Why don’t the baby books have places for milestones like this one?” 

Capital Mom provides a theme each Friday for these Monday Moments. Others have written about their own moments. I also wrote about other  Monday Moments.

Kissing – Monday Moments

Monday, April 4th, 2011

When Reid was little, kissing involved a rounded mouth, usually drooling, an oddly-timed smacking noise, and love shining from her eyes. Who knows how babies figure out that kisses are all about the love?

Later, moments it seems but really months, magical kisses would wake Mama up. Mama would fall asleep at the most inappropriate times and with no notice. Mama, who managed to snore with an exhale that puckered her lips, loved these kisses.

Now, a big girl of six-and-three-quarters is becoming stingy with her kisses. Sometimes pure mischief shines from the eyes as the kiss happens. With a stuck out tongue in its midst. Drool again!

But the love is still there.

Capital Mom provides a theme each Friday for these Monday Moments. Others have written about their own moments. I also wrote about  Monday Moments.

Another big cut

Sunday, March 13th, 2011

Reid decided to get her hair cut. As I wrote, she has been taking care of her own hair and I left the decision to her. Once it was made, Reid was determined to execute it immediately. We headed to Melonheads, Reid’s preferred salon, with the plan of begging our way into an appointment since they weren’t answering the phone. Sometimes optimism doesn’t get you as far as it could, though.

Reid decided that a “regular” salon would do as long as they would cut her hair immediately. They could, they did and she was pleased with the results. I was disappointed that she didn’t have long enough hair to make another donation to A Child’s Voice Foundation: Angel Hair as she did for the first big cut but forcing her to grow it doesn’t seem in the spirit of charity.

All this hair business has made me nostalgic for Reid’s hair history. I took a walk down memory lane. Have a look…

Newborn hair Reid was born with a crazy amount of hair, especially for the child of a woman who resemble ET as a baby.

Unhappy ponytails Reid first got ponytails when she was just 6 months old.

Smiling and ponytailed But she liked having the hair out of her eyes, to be sure.

First hair cut After many, many, many questions about when Reid would finally get her hair cut – my answer was always “when she is one” – she got her hair cut just before her first birthday.

Braided beauty See those braids! That’s what you get when you only trim your child’s hair for the first four years of her life.

Delighted short-haired And when her long hair was finally cut, Reid was delighted.

Long, loose hair Almost two-and-a-half years later, Reid’s hair was again long and gorgeous. And doomed.

Short and polished But look at that smile and how polished she looks!

(Confession: I still miss the fancy hairstyles.)

Hair, glorious hair

Sunday, February 27th, 2011

Reid has been gradually taking over the decisions and responsibility for her hair over the last several months. I’m not exactly sure when it started but I could make a good guess based on pictures since Reid’s preferred hairstyle is long, loose and in her face. The latter characteristic may be a by-product of the first two. It drives me a bit nutty not to be able to see Reid’s face. Watching her drag her hair through her plate, whatever craft supplies she is using, et cetera is a very hard thing but I’m working on being excited about this new self-care skill. (Always look on the bright side, that’s my motto.)

Without the omnipresent ponytails and braids that kept me sane all these years, Reid needs her hair washed and conditioned more often to allow her to get the tangles out. It’s like someone out there doesn’t want me to get too comfortable with a particular stage before they change it up on me. Fortunately, Reid is also getting better with washing and conditioning her own hair. The rinsing needs a bit more work. Despite swimming well and often, Reid doesn’t like to get the water in her face. Even when she showers “all alone”, I have to stay in the bathroom to wipe her eyes if water or soap gets near them. It’s a tough life, I tell you ;+)

A friend of mine suggested that I offer Reid the option of having her hair cut, now that Sulienne and Ryan’s wedding has passed. I said that I’d mentioned it but Reid wasn’t interested. Janice pointed out that Reid would have an easier time caring for short hair but, of course, Reid still wast interested when I mentioned it again. I’m not pushing it. Reid is doing a pretty good job and I wouldn’t want to undermine her confidence. Plus, she still let’s me do her hair every once in awhile.

Reid knows the story of the time that she pooped in the tub and then was upset that she had to get out. When she reminds me of that story, I’m reminded of how far we’ve come. I miss that round little toddler but I’m ever-so-happy with the almost big girl I have now. (If only she’d let me braid her hair more often. Sigh)

Teeth – then and now

Tuesday, November 30th, 2010

January 2005

Reid’s first tooth - Jan 2005

November 2010

Reid’s first lost tooth - Nov 2010

It’s a loose tooth, not an amputation

Thursday, November 4th, 2010

 Reid complained about one of her teeth on Monday morning. I checked the tooth in question but all was well. The next tooth over, however, was wobbly. I told Reid that her tooth was loose and she was ecstatic. She stared into the mirror and poked her tongue around. I had to confirm which tooth was wobbly, since it wasn’t an extreme case – it’s on the bottom, just to the left (stage left, as it were) of the gap in the middle of her bottom teeth.

At breakfast, I was told to serve only soft food “because of my …[insert drama here] tooth.” I packed an apple for an afterschool snack because (a) I always do and (b) loose teeth creep me out. I don’t like to watch them be wiggled, I don’t like to touch them and the idea of dealing with a freshly-freed tooth makes me shiver and make a face.

I told Reid that she should stop wiggling her tooth and keep it in her mouth until her dad comes home. Reid didn’t like the idea. Not even when I explained that I wasn’t ready for her to be a big girl who lost her teeth. Reid tried to reassure me that adult teeth would soon replace the lost baby teeth. That only makes it worse!

Reid must have spent the day wiggling her tooth because, by supper, it was noticeably looser. She wondered how long it would take for her tooth to come out. I have no idea. With all of the drama, wiggling and soft food requests, I’m warming up to the “not that long” school of thought.

We called Grandma Joyce so that Reid could share her news. Reid said, “I have a loose tooth!” (which sounds like toof, I’ll admit, and Reid *was* talking on the speaker phone) Grandma Joyce said, “You’re having stew?” Reid repeated her original statement and soon Grandma Joyce understood the excitement. She also told us that her mind was on stew because that is what she was having for supper. I was sad to miss out on Grandma Joyce’s stew but it turned out Aunt Karin and Uncle Roger were there and so Reid got to tell her story a couple more times.

At bedtime, Reid was worried that her tooth would fall out while she was asleep. My confident pronouncement that teeth don’t fall out like that was not believed. I wouldn’t mind if it did, though. She checked her tooth as soon as she woke up this morning as was pleased to find it present and accounted for. Reid is hoping that the tooth falls out at school because she’d be the first grade 1 to have that happen to her. I’d send my wishes that way, too, but what if it falls out and gets lost, all before I see it. Reid would be very upset.

All in all, this first loose tooth has provided for a lot of drama, on Reid’s part and on mine. I’m becoming resigned to the ickyness of a bloody tooth and (I hope) that Reid is finding the whole thing less worrisome than yesterday. Remind me how many more teeth she has to lose? On the other hand, please don’t.

I don’t remember being bribed

Friday, July 23rd, 2010

My mom called today and left a mesage. She told me that Reid is doing well with riding her bike without training wheels. I’m not supposed to mention it so that Reid can surprise me when I get there.

As you know, though, Reid can be a bit of a slacker when it comes to learning new skills. (Think hockey ;+)

Reid and Uncle Roger had a date after camp one day to practice riding. Reid winged a bit and Mom offered her $2 to go out and practice without complaint. And, Mom said, “Don’t tell anyone.” Reid went outside, put in a good effort and made good progress. When she got back in, Reid said, “I told Uncle Roger about the money. But only him.” I guess Mom should have said, “Don’t tell anyone, especially Uncle Roger.” ;+) When they finished riding the next day, Roger asked Mom what the bribe had been for that session. Mom confessed that she’d let Reid eat in front of the tv.

All of this bothers me a bit. I want Reid to do things because she should and all that. But what I really want to know is why I was never offered money when I was a child?!

Advice in advance of Reid’s 6th birthday

Thursday, July 15th, 2010

My sister Karin, usually known here as “Aunt Karin” wrote this story in an email to Ken and then decided to send it to me, too. I wanted to capture it here because it’s very funny because Reid is 6 instead of 16. I’m not considering that it might be foreshadowing anything.

On Tuesday, Dave called me at work and in a  DEADLY CALM VOICE asks me If I’ve seen Shea’s nipple.  Shea has had swollen lymph nodes due to mono so I thought great, now he has a swollen boob?  I said, “No, I’ve haven’t seen it, what’s wrong?”  Dave said, “He got his nipple pierced, I told him to pack his bags”, still calm.  I said, “Dave, there’s worse things than that” then my phone rings and I have to go. I called Dave back when I could and said, “Calm down.”  He said, “I’ve always been calm,” then he said “I guess there are worse things.”  

Shea had been to Grand Bend overnight and a friend, who already has both nipples pierced, told Shea (who’s a big chicken) that if he got it done right then and there that he would pay for it. Shea asked the man how much it. When he found out it cost $100, he told his friend to pay and he would do it. I think he thought his friend would back down and if not then Shea would do it.  I asked him who signed his permission form and he informed me that at 16 you don’t need parental permission for a piercing, but tattoos can’t be done without parental consent till age 18. Good to know!

Since your daughter is fast approaching her 16th birthday, I thought I’d share my story.