July 29, 2009 by Barbara.

Reid’s birthday was a celebration from start to finish. I brought her breakfast in bed as I read about a Andrea at A Peak Inside the Fishbowl doing for her children. I’m particularly proud of myself for remembering the idea over the last couple of months. Reid, who had already cuddled into bed with Ken, was tickled to see me with the tray. She said that it was good that she was in daddy’s bed so that her bed, with it’s new sheets and quilt, wouldn’t get anything spilled on it. I’m pretty sure that this was the sort of thought she should have kept to herself, no matter how true it was. Reid was careful as she ate her Cheerios and banana and drank her orange juice from its wine glass. Only one Cheerio got away from her. Given the number of Cheerios that end up on the dining room floor in a given week, one was a good number. After breakfast, Reid opened birthday cards from Aunt Karin and Uncle Dave (and Shea, Adam and Sulienne), Uncle Rick and Aunt Stephanie and Grandmama. She was excited to hear what each one said and who they were from. Separating the card opening from present opening made the cards seem more special and brought excitement to breakfast.

Reid went to swimming lessons wearing the birthday cake hat that I got her from the Dollar Store. She took it off before she got to the pool deck but she told her teacher it was her birthday. He’s a bit odd. He didn’t wish her “Happy birthday” as I do reflexively when I’m told about someone’s birthday. Maybe I’m odd, too, but he is odd in other ways. The other little girl in Reid’s class was absent and so Reid enjoyed a private lesson, almost like I planned it. We stopped at the Dollar Store on the way home for a few more balls for loot bags. Parents replied to the invitation as late as Thursday and so I scrambled a bit at the end. I was ever so grateful that Grandma Joyce insisted that she should make as many cloth bags as kids that we invited, even though people say attendance at summer birthdays is low. We had two left over but it was a near thing.

Reid’s party started at 10:45 at Cosmic Adventures. Unlike last year, when I dallied a bit and Ken was forced to speed across town and we were still later arriving than the first couple of guests, we got there before anyone else. We milled about in the lobby, collecting 12 of the 13 kids who were coming in the first 20 minutes. Each person entering the play area required an wrist band and I asked people to fill in “Hello my name is” stickers. It gave me hope that I’d be able to call the other adults something other than “M’s mom” or “J and L’s dad”. Unfortunately, most provided the kid’s names only. Still I did learn the names of 2 moms and one dad as well as one uncle. That uncle had never been to Cosmic Adventures before, was doing his sister a favour, and Ken told him that it was going to be very loud and that his sister would owe him big! (Sort of like I did last year, when Uncle Roger helped out at Reid’s birthday party.)

With all but one straggler accounted for, one of the party people led everyone to the little arcade to explain how the debit card thingys worked in the games. It would have made more sense to gather the parents close as most of the kids - the ones close enough to hear - didn’t understand the directions and the parents who probably could have understood, didn’t hear. Not that it’s rocket science; there are a finite number of ways to swipe a card. From the point of view of the kids’ experience, I think it was better when they got to feed tokens into the machines to play and then received a ribbon of tickets when they won. Environmentally - and economically, I’m sure - the debit cards are a better choice. As a parent who isn’t keen on the arcade, I missed seeing the supply of tokens dwindle, to mark the time I’d spent in that area. Our last guest arrived while we were still in the arcade and so we had 14 kids in total. Reid finally left the arcade without redeeming her card for the little plastic and rubber doodads that we absolutely don’t need in our house. All of the kids had some time in the climbing structure before we were called to the Mars room for lunch. Ken told me that at one point Reid went into the area reserved for kids 4 and under and he showed her the sign and told her she was too big. I bet that she liked being too big for something since she is still too little for many other things.

In the party room, everything runs with a military-sort of precision but the kids don’t seem to notice. They were enticed to all sit down by our party host who pointed out the crayons on the table that could be used on the paper that covered it. He got them to choose apple juice or Fruitopia by touching their nose or raising their hand, respectively. He made a crown for Reid out of balloons but involved all of the kids in stretching out the balloons and letting some filled ones go zooming around the room. No one seemed to mind at all that Reid was the only one with a balloon hat. The pizza was passed out efficiently - there’d been a choice between pizza and hot dogs but I’d decided it was too complicated to have both and ordered cheese pizza for all - and then another party host arrived to start painting faces. Each of the kids that wanted to got a small design on their cheek and didn’t mind interrupting their pizza-eating to do so. The party host gathered everyone together to show them the cake, a rectangle with a green and purple alien in one corner, and then asked if they were still hungry for their pizza or if they wanted cake. Reid went against the crowd and went back to eating her pizza.

We sang, “Happy Birthday” and passed out cake. Reid was excited to receive the first piece (told her dad about it later, even, though he was right there) but didn’t even pick up the fork to try her cake. This worked well because it meant we had time for a group photo and the present unwrapping. The party host sat next to Reid as she unwrapped her presents, recording who gave what on an official Cosmic Adventures form. It was like we rented a maid-of-honour. Once presents were unwrapped it was 1:00 and time for the official part of the party to end. The kids were welcome to stay with their parents until the 8:30 closing but we weren’t responsible for them. The moms were impressed by the cloth lot bags (I confessed Grandma Joyce had made them when asked) and the kids seemed to like the smiley-face ball, funny pen, notebook and Franklin story that was in each.

A surprising number of the kids had to leave immediately. I’d have been taking advantage of the no-admission-fee chance to let my kid run a bit more. A tired kid is the kind one wants at bedtime, no? Of course, there was the one kid whose parents had delayed the start of their family vacation until after the party and the others who had stayed home from the cottage in order to attend. Cosmic Adventures is a very popular birthday party location! We ended up staying until about 2:30 when the four who were allowed to stay longer left. We picked up the left-over cake and bag of presents at the desk on our way out. Birthday party packages are pretty expensive but the service is excellent.

Reid and I dropped Ken and the presents off at home and then went to buy some food for our planned picnic supper. It’s been raining so much and so often that I hadn’t wanted to commit to buying what we needed until I knew that we’d actually go. Sandwiches, cheese, veggies and the like are good for a picnic but seem weird as at-home birthday dinner offerings. It’s popular wisdom that you shouldn’t shop on an empty stomach and I can attest to the fact that it’s even worse to do when your stomach is empty and you’re tired. Everything that took *no effort to prepare* looked good. The only thing I was willing to buy that required me to expend energy were the cherries that I had to wash.

Melissa, Peter and Ben picked us up about 5:00 and we headed down to see Natalie MacMaster and the National Arts Centre Orchestra playing at one of the Orchestra in the Park concerts. We were early enough and lucky enough to find a picnic table to eat at and we enjoyed our supper and then I put a candle in the pie Reid had chosen at the store. We sang “Happy Birthday” and Reid tried to blow out the candle but the wind was so strong that the candle went out as soon as I lit it two or three times. Finally, I asked Reid to pretend to blow out the candle so that I could take the standard photo. (I’m such a cheater.) Reid refused the piece of pie that she was offered and also the ice cream that was all soft and creamy from its time in the cooler without ice). We offered extra pieces to the people sitting near us but most looked more than a little surprised that we offered and declined. One lady accepted and then her friend did, too. It was nice to share our celebration.

We tidied up and then left Peter and Ken to guard the chairs while Melissa, Ben, Reid and I went to see what else was going on. We found a water fountain that had way too much water pressure and a misaligned spout. The water’s arc was twice as large as it should have been. (I mention this only because there is a very good thing that Reid and Ben would say that it was the most memorable part of the evening. When we were walking, Reid asked me to carry her. I said “no” and noted that she is getting big and soon I won’t be able to carry her. Reid said, “Probably when I’m 20, I’ll be too heavy and too long for you to carry.” I told her that I was thinking more like 10 or maybe 7. I don’t think Reid believed me.

We saw some modern dancers (from The Dance School - Dancing in the Streets) performing on the grass. Reid watched a bit and then began emulating their poses and movements. We also went into a tent for the kids to try a guitar, ukulele (I think), drums and a violin. I’m pretty sure the Ottawa Folklore Centre provided the first instruments but I’m not sure from where the violins came. Having whiled away an hour, we headed for our seats. Reid couldn’t walk by the porta-john, despite our visit to the posh facilities (by comparison) of the Canadian War Museum. While standing in line, we got to see two people dressed in historic costumes and so it was good all around. We had to pick our way carefully to our chairs as the crowd grew dramatically while we’d been away. People were good natured about shifting, like they *should* be at outdoor concerts but sometimes aren’t. Reid and Ben had their chairs in front of ours. Reid has discovered, or maybe more accurately, finally noticed that Ben isn’t a fan of PDA (public displays of affection). He defines “public” as any situation involving more than himself and his parents when it comes to hugs or kisses. Reid likes to threaten to kiss him, she may actually carry through if she were able, and I have to tell her that everyone has the right to decide what happens to her/his body instead of smiling and remembering when little girls used to chase little boys and vice versa and it didn’t mean anything.

Once the concert started, Reid had trouble staying in her seat. She wanted to dance, had to dance, in fact. Unfortunately the closest good place for dancing was in Ben’s sight line of the stage. Still Reid listened some, danced some and talked some (it’s Reid, the talking was inevitable) for the 90 minutes the concert lasted. The sky looked increasingly ominous as the time passed. By the time Natalie MacMaster came out for her encore, people were getting antsy. As the last notes died away, the crowd began packing up their chairs and heading out. We got to the van - carpooling saved such coordination headaches - and Reid and Ken each got to open their presents before we went to out house. I was amazed that Reid didn’t fall asleep on the way home but I guess it’s hard to sleep when you’re talking non-stop.

Reid went to sleep quickly at home, or I think she did, I was out in no time flat, myself. She even slept in an hour on Sunday. It was a birthday full of happy happenings. I’m so glad that Reid had fun (and also that we only do it once a year).

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May 28, 2009 by Barbara.

While Melissa and I worked on supper last night, the kids played hide-and-seek, their favourite game. Reid is at a double disadvantage since she is the youngest and least-familiar with the hiding places at Melissa’s. Unless the bigger kids want to find someone other than Reid - a fielder’s choice sort of situation - they find her first and then she is “it” for the next round. In the midst of their game, Reid and Ben were unable to find Sarah. Ben decided that Reid should count and start a new round. As he bossed her to “Just count!” Melissa made some comment about Ben treating Reid just like family and I replied that it was all part of my plan to keep Reid from becoming a completely unbearable, only child. It’s good for Reid to spend some time at the low end of the pecking order, to be around bigger kids and to learn that she shouldn’t always do whatever those bigger kids are doing or suggesting. It doesn’t hurt that Melissa and I get along so well.

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May 25, 2009 by Barbara.

Sometimes I decide that we can do more in a day than really we should take on. I did that on both days of this past weekend. On Saturday, Reid and I were up early to make rhubarb cake and lasagna for supper. She even set the table for supper so that we’d be ready. I managed one of the fastest showers of my life and we got to Reid’s swimming lessons just 2 minutes late. Immediately after the lessons finished, we headed to the Melon Heads at Place d’Orleans so that Reid could get her hair cut. Reid had asked on Thursday to get her hair cut like Ken’s - basically a long brush cut - but we said “no” to that but did offer a shorter hairstyle. I hunted through Lands End catalogues and parenting magazines but couldn’t find any pictures of girls with hair shorter than their chin. The Internet let me down, too. Lucky for me, Reid had decided that she wanted her hair still “long” just shorter than it was. In the end, her hair is cut to chin length and she is cute as always.

Next, we went to the photo studio at Loblaws. I’d forgotten to make an appointment for Ken and Reid to have their pictures taken for Mother’s Day. It was late enough that we decided that we might as well do Father’s Day pics, too. We all smiled and posed on cue. Reid had asked me if I’d brought any things for the pictures. I’m not sure what it means that she knows to ask if I’ve brought any props. I didn’t, if you’re wondering.

We had a late lunch at the food court and then Reid and I took a bus to the National Arts Centre for the last concert in the TD Family Adventures series. This one featured Veronica Tennant, the former ballerina, as the co-host and was called “Dance with the NAC Orchestra”. A local dance school supplied dancers for a number of the pieces, including the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy from the Nutcracker and a work by Bach that featured a tap dancer and contemporary dancer. Many a child, especially the little girls, left the concert hall spinning and planning their own dance career.

On our way to the bus stop, we saw some of the Ottawa Race Weekend crowds. They’re the reason we took a bus; with the races, there were many road closures. I’ve been meaning to travel more by bus on the weekend, since I have a bus pass and kids 5 and under ride for free but hadn’t been that organized yet. Driving allows for more poor planning ;+)

We walked in to the smell of almost-cooked lasagna and in that instant, I decided that I’m going to make lasagna for company more often. I’d cleaned the kitchen hours earlier and wasn’t stressing out just before people arrived. Stephen had a school project to work on and Peter was out of town, which meant that only Sarah and Ben were with Melissa. The kids sat at Reid’s little table and were well-behaved with only one small kicking incident. Maybe there were other troubles but they weren’t noticeable from the table the adults were at. I highly recommend separate seating for kids and adults. The kids do, too, since sitting at Reid’s table was offered as a choice this time. Ken disappeared upstairs to work on his French while Melissa and I enjoyed our tea from fancy china cups. Tea tastes better or you drink it slower or something when you use the fancy cups. Reid and Ben conned Melissa into reading a couple of books and then it was time for bed. As busy as the day was, I was happy not to be super-tired. It was hectic but not stressful.

Which was good, since we had a few things to do on Sunday. Reid and I were at the garden centre/nursery before it opened on Sunday and took our time selecting vegetables, seeds and decorative plants. Reid was happy with our plant car - she was boxed in on the one side by plants and on the other by stuff that usually rides around in the cargo area and there were plants in the front. We’d barely got the plants unloaded when Bruno showed up to help. I don’t know how parents with two kids manage the eagerness. I was reminded that I haven’t spoken much French lately. Sigh. We did get some flowers planted before lunch, though. After lunch, I took Reid to M’s, a friend from school. Reid was so excited to be going to a friend’s house when it wasn’t for a birthday. I didn’t point out that she’d only been out to one at-home birthday party. The mom said that I could run errands or whatever as she thought the girls would occupy themselves. From all reports they did just that, spending most of their time in the backyard. I returned from my trip to the consignment store and St Vincent de Paul store where I’d made drop offs in time to hear the girls starting to get on each other’s nerves. Three hours was just long enough, I think. We’ll invite M over right away. Reid is thinking that she now has Sunday afternoon plans for the rest of her life. I’m not shutting out the possibility of activities that don’t involve M but I don’t think I’ll be killing Reid’s dream quite yet.

Bedtime was welcome on Sunday. I’ll try and plan for somewhat less this weekend. I guess.

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February 26, 2009 by Barbara.

Reid and I went skating with Melissa and Ben at an outdoor rink in their neighbourhood on Sunday afternoon. Ben was eager to play hockey with the big kids but spent some time skating on the “puddle” with Reid first. The 3 years difference in their ages and the fact that one is a girl and the other a boy aren’t really barriers when they’re playing outside - or at least not in Reid’s mind. Unfortunately, despite the weekly skating lessons since September, Reid is not as proficient a skater as Ben. When they did go to the rink with boards and nets, Reid tried to skate and handle the puck a bit with the big boys and then decided to play goalie instead. The older boys, who were 13 or 14, refused to take shots on my pink-suited 4-year-old girl. She didn’t tell them that she was 4 *and a half* but I doubt it would have made a difference. I talked Reid away from the net and Ben even agreed to shoot on the net at the other end for a bit. She wanted back into the game, though.

Back at our house, Reid had lots to say about skating and said that she wanted to play hockey in the fall when Ken asked her. I wish I knew other hockey families in the area. I don’t know anything about when to register, where to find used equipment of any of that. Luckily, it’s spring and the right time of year for a young girl’s thoughts to turn to hockey. Far better than September …

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December 7, 2008 by Barbara.

I finally figured out what Reid has been singing off and on this past week. It’s “mega, mega clipboard.” I think that I’ve always heard it and known what it was but since it didn’t make sense I decided I was mistaken. Friday night, though, I made the connection between her song fragment and the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer play we saw on Sunday and it finally clicked. Santa used a clipboard and every time the word “clipboard” was mentioned, the other actors would sing “mega, mega clipboard” a few times (or maybe they said, “magic, mega clipboard” which is how Ben remembers it). It was funnier to see and hear than to read, I think.

Reid has also been asking for what she calls “the Christmas song” but what is actually “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”. We sang it at least a dozen times Thursday night alone. Now that we’ve moved the tv to the basement (and by “we”, I mean Ken), I can’t listen to the Christmas music channels that we get via cable and I’m not sure where my few Christmas music cds are. I’ll have to find an “all Christmas music, all the time” Internet radio station since my repertoire of songs is much more limited than Grandma Joyce’s.

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November 5, 2008 by Barbara.

View More Wordless Wednesday Participants, look at my previous Wordless Wednesday entries, or check out the Wordless Wednesday HQ. You’ll find lots of cute babies and kids at 5 Minutes for Mom.

Posted in Wordless Wednesday, Holidays, Pastimes, Ben, Sarah, Stephen, Melissa and Peter | Print | 9 Comments »

November 1, 2008 by Barbara.

Compared to the two vampires Reid was trick or treating with, her skunk costume didn’t seem so scary. She was a hit with the people at the doors - it helped that most of the other kids were bigger.

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September 25, 2008 by Barbara.

Reid hasn’t brought much home from school since the first few days when she came home with a craft each day. I’m not sure if they are doing work sheets instead of crafts or if Reid is just choosing other activity centres. She has been drawing, though, and last week brought home a picture or herself - or maybe it was me, Reid’s story about who it was changed. The person in question had a large head from which arms and legs protruded. There were two eyes, a mouth and a nose that had two nostrils right were nostrils should be. Okay, maybe more where nostrils are on a pig but, since I don’t think I’ve ever drawn nostrils on a person, I was more than a little impressed.

Reid was in charge of making a birthday card for Sarah and decided to draw stick figures of Sarah, me and herself. These figures had heads and bodies - potato-shaped like me but not so much like Reid and Sarah - as well as the requisite limbs and facial features but no nostrils. The scale was wrong for nostrils. Maybe Reid has an eye for scale already. Maybe I don’t need to continue with my RRSP savings, maybe Reid will be a famous artist before I retire and I’ll live in luxury. Sigh.

Maybe not. Either way, Reid has more artist talent than I do. I’m not even a smidge jealous. I’ll know what to say when the doctor asks me if she draws people with at least 3 body parts next time. I might even bring an example.

Posted in Art, Career, Sarah | Print | 1 Comment »

September 24, 2008 by Barbara.

View More Wordless Wednesday Participants, look at my previous Wordless Wednesday entries, or check out the Wordless Wednesday HQ. You’ll find lots of cute babies and kids at 5 Minutes for Mom.

Posted in Wordless Wednesday, Sarah | Print | 8 Comments »

June 27, 2008 by Barbara.

I have been going to Melissa (and Peter’s) house for supper on Thursday night for about 7 years. At first, I watched Ben while Melissa and Peter took Stephen and Sarah to swimming lessons. When Ben was old enough for swimming lessons, I would meet them at the pool and then we’d had have supper back at their house. Once Reid came along, she joined in. We have benefited from many meals and much good company over the years. For a number of reasons, we eat at Melissa’s at lot more often than they come to our house. At first, it was simply that Ken was volunteering at the museum and I was watching Ben. Logistically it is easier for me to bring one child than for Melissa to bring 3 kids and a husband. Ken still dedicates Thursdays to volunteer work.

This Thursday night, though, Peter came for supper by himself because Melissa and the kids were out of town. Reid was quite excited when I told her that Peter would be coming. She asked about the kids and Melissa but nodded at the explanation of their whereabouts and moved onto the business of the seating arrangements. Reid is generally very concerned about who will sit where at the table.Reid seemed pleased - maybe relieved? - that we wouldn’t need any extra chairs. I was surprised at her comments. I thought she liked it when we got out the folding chairs since she usually lobbies to sit on the black one. When I mentioned it to Peter, he said that he was going to look for more kitchen chairs at his house so that we didn’t need to bring in the dining room chairs. And then Reid’s comments made more sense. At Melissa’s, Reid sometimes needs to rearrange chairs so that she has a “kid’s chair” (not a dining room chair) and so that she is sitting next to Sarah.

We had a lovely visit with Peter over supper and, especially, over an extended dessert and after-dinner tea. I never have trouble talking to him but at his house, he has whatever project he was working on when I arrived, as well as the kids, to distract him and I have Melissa and girl talk to distract me. We talked about nothing of great significance, about children, our jobs, the way you do with a good friend. We didn’t really talk much about Melissa.

The only moment of pronounced silence occurred when Reid returned from the bathroom wearing only her t-shirt and my high-heeled, calf-high boots. Of course, the t-shirt didn’t cover nearly enough and the boots were entirely inappropriate. The moment of stunned silence that we adults shared was broken after long milliseconds by Ken and me both saying, “Get your underwear on!” Peter laughed the laugh of a father whose kids have finally, more or less, learned the lesson of modesty but can still remember when they hadn’t.

The whole experience made me think about advice you read in parenting magazines that suggests setting aside time to interact with each of your children one-on-one. It is, I think, good advice for your friends who you see in couples or groups also. Changing the dynamics of a relationship every once and a while can be good for the relationship over the long term.

Posted in Food, Melissa and Peter, Uncategorized | Print | 1 Comment »